Sex addiction is highly stigmatised, which can lead to people not seeking help. But if you notice that you or someone else presents these three signs, you need to speak to someone.
When it comes to sex addiction, there is often the question of whether engaging in excessive sexual practices is actually a sign on addiction or not.
According to an expert, there are three things to flag as being signs of an addition, and you don’t have to do all of them to be considered an addict.
According to I’m Nicholas Amitrano, a therapist at Cedar Tree Counseling, ‘addiction isn’t based on how often the behaviour occurs, it centres on a person’s inability to control their behaviour, especially if it is impacting their life in negative ways’.
Nicholas Amitrano explains the three signs of a sex addict. (YouTube / Cedar Tree Counseling, Ltd.)
He explained that the addiction will act like a compulsion, where the urges are ‘difficult to manage’ and hard to control.
So, simply thinking about doing something sexual doesn’t constitute as an addiction, but if you find yourself unable to stop yourself from acting on it, or finding it hard to stop yourself, that’s where you’re in a pickle.
According to The International Sex Survey, around 4.69 percent of people in the UK are at high risk of compulsive sexual behaviour.
Finding it hard to go without sex
He explained that the first sign of sex addiction is ‘finding it hard to cut back on sexual behaviours, especially when you know that your sexual behaviours are a problem’.
Amitrano explained: “Finding it difficult to go a couple of days or even a week without performing certain sexual practices can all also signal the presence of addiction.”
Always prioritising sexual gratification
The second sign of sex addiction is when you ‘prioritise sexual gratification over other areas of your life.’
Now, this could be that you’re dedicating so much time towards sexual behaviours that you have fallen behind at school, work or you’ve even lost close relationships due to it.
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The expert shared that sex addiction is a compulsion. (Getty Stock Photo)
The expert said: “For example, this sign can manifest as consistently cancelling plans to meet up with sexual partners or being unable to fulfil responsibilities because of taking excessive time to watch pornography.”
Risky behaviour
The third sign of sex addiction is the performance of ‘risky and inappropriate behaviours’ to satisfy your need for excitement.
Amitrano shared that for some, ‘safe behaviours don’t obtain the same level of excitement they achieved at the beginning’, so as time goes on, ‘the addiction demands a more powerful, oftentimes risky or socially inappropriate behaviour to satisfy its needs’.
Now, these examples are quite serious and can even be a crime.
Amitrano said: “Common examples include touching yourself in public, masturbating in public places openly, flirting with other people when it is clear they are not interested, inappropriately touching others or taking pictures of other people without their permission for the purpose of sexual pleasure.”
He shared that if you feel as though you have been exhibiting these three behaviours, there’s hope.
The expert said that there are multiple sources of support for those experiencing sex addiction, such as 12-step programmes, or asking your friends ‘to become accountability partners’.
You can also set an appointment with a counsellor who specialises in sex addiction to help you with your struggles.
If you have been affected by any of the issues in this article, or would like to seek support or further information, you can contact Sex Addicts Anonymous on their website, where email addresses and phone numbers – including a dedicated women’s line and LGBTQ+ contact – can be found.
Look, we all have our vices. From not being able to get through the day without a vape to even just being obsessed with the more sh**ty films on Netflix.
And maybe for you, porn is your vice. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with using Pornhub or watching adult videos on OnlyFans and it’s not exactly uncommon.
A survey by Ofcom found that half of adults in the UK watched it during the pandemic and even that 21 percent of adults watch it during typical working hours.
However, like most things, there can be ‘too much’ and porn can become addictive.
Experts say it’s important to understand the signs of having a porn addiction in order to maintain a healthy relationship both with adult content and with whoever you’re sleeping with.
Porn addiction expert and psychologist from Stop Together, Dr Ree Langham, shares six signs with LADbible that you could be addicted to porn.
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Langham says the biggest sign of porn addiction is if you’re spending ’a huge amount of time watching the content’ and this will directly impact how much of your time is going to other responsibilities and content.
“If adult content begins to dominate someone’s day-to-day life, it could be time to reassess habits,” she adds.
Mood changes
Being addicted to porn can cause changes to your mood and personality, affecting your ability to connect with others.
This might create tension in your relationships and lead to miscommunication.
Uncontrollable urges
If you can’t stop watching adult content, then that’s a red flag.
Langham explains: “If someone regularly has the urge to watch explicit material and struggles to refrain from doing so, it could be time to get professional help.”
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Escalating desires
If that desire to watch adult content begins to interfere with daily responsibilities, is frequent, or places you in ‘dangerous situations’, like watching secretly when your partner’s around then ‘this could highlight a developing dependency on porn’.
Unrealistic beliefs
Another warning sign you’re addicted to porn could be a more obvious one – if you’re developing unrealistic beliefs about what sex should be like.
The expert adds: “If someone’s perceptions and ideas about intimacy change drastically, these should be addressed to help create a healthier mindset.”
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Dishonest behaviour
If you’re watching too much porn, it might lead to dishonest behaviour as you distance yourself from those around you.
Further strain and pressure on you might come from ‘the guilt and shame associated with addiction’.
Langham advises: “Porn addiction can have a huge impact on intimacy and relationships, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a negative impact on romance.
“However, there is help and support available, and recognising the signs early is an essential step towards addressing any issues.”
Look, if it’s your preference, then fair enough, but for most plain old vanilla action in the bedroom, things can get a little boring after a while.
So plenty of people will look for different options to make things a little spicier.
Perhaps you’ve got a hefty toy collection or you and your partner enjoy getting others in on the action.
Or maybe you’ve got your own kinks you incorporate into your sex life. And while there are many kinks a lot of people don’t know exist, a psychologist has revealed how one can improve their overall sex life.
Psychologists reckon that elements of BDSM can have mega improvements to a couple’s general love lives.
For those not versed (or a little freaked out by the idea), it stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadochism and masochism.
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And the psychologist explained that the core principles of the sexual practice of good communication can be good for any couple – no matter how freaky they are in the sheets.
The Journal of Sexual Medicine took that focus on communication and found that those who take part in BDSM are ‘less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection-sensitive, and had higher subjective well-being’.
So with a bit of good communication, it could simply open up a safe space for your partner to discuss their fantasies and desires.
But it could also encourage you to see sex more as a bit of fun and ‘play’, rather than something that just becomes repetitive and well, boring.
In the world of kink, ‘play’ reflects how those engage with it see sex as fun but also as a way to use their brains and be creative.
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The New School Psychology Bulletin also included that another key part of BDSM is the focus on consent – another thing that can help couples out.
The psychologist explained how consent can be quite vague in mainstream – usually just viewed as saying that for sex, you just need a yes or no.
But BDSM practitioners have more indicators of consent, often taking part in clear discussions before a ‘scene’ (a planned sexual interaction).
As well as that yes or no and even sometimes written consent, those in the community rely on body cues and pre-agreed safe words.
So, by adopting bits of the BDSM practices, it could make both you and your partner feel safer and more willing to explore different forms of sex and acts.
Plus, the benefits of adopting these core principles could make mega changes, with research finding that BDSM practitioners are generally more sexually satisfied overall.
After a watch of Love Actually, The Holiday or whatever film gets your romance going, you and your partner might be planning to get naughty before the real big guy comes.
Sure, you might think you’ve got the gift of being a top sh**ger in the sack, but it turns out you’re more likely to land yourself in hospital at Christmas.
Yep, doctors at Ludwig Maximilian University in Germany say there’s a significant increase in broken penises during the festive season.
I mean, imagine the embarrassment – you’d be the topic of conversation round the Christmas dinner table for years to come if you end up in A&E with a snapped d**k.
It’s serious though, obviously, with doctors telling Metro that the ‘forceful bending of the erect penis during aggressive sexual intercourse featuring unusual sexual positions’ could destroy your very merry Christmas vibe.
Apparently, an ‘audible crack’ followed by severe pain are the key signs of a penile fracture.
And it apparently sees a whopping 43 percent increase in commonality during the festive season.
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In your attempt to spice things up like a lovely mulled wine, perhaps you’re planning to try out the ‘Santa Straddle’ position.
But like the doctors say, it has the potential to ‘snap’ a person’s manhood. Festive.
Either way, after a stressful few hours of family arguments, some fun sex with your partner might help let off some steam.
Ok, so as recommended by Bustle, this ‘Santa straddle’ sees the partner with the penis laying on their back, with one leg bent. The other can then climb aboard, facing away in the reverse cowgirl position.
Straddling their thigh, they then slide up and down – almost like going down the chimney.
It’s said to be one of the best positions for female orgasm, as well as allowing one of you to lay back in a food coma.
Oh, and the Santa Straddle might need a decent helping of lube to get going.
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But while you’re doing this, just be careful as that’s how injuries happen. Although, don’t be fooled, as no actual bones are harmed in a penile fracture.
Medical director Dr Earim told Metro: “Now let’s begin by correcting one common misconception, ‘boners’ don’t actually contain any bones.
“Your penis consists of three cylindrical tubes. Two of these are sponge-like tissues that expand and become rigid with blood to produce an erection (the corpus cavernosum).
“When this tears or breaks, it causes a penile fracture, with the blood inside the erection leaking out into other areas of the penis.”
The NHS says that penile fractures require emergency surgical treatment.
A shocking viral video appearing to show a prison guard having sex with an inmate has resulted in a woman being arrested.
The woman in question, who was seen wearing her uniform, appeared to be performing a sexual act on the prisoner, reportedly at the Category B prison in Wandsworth, London.
Afterwards, the pair began having sex while another inmate filmed the whole thing.
The inmate, who was smoking while filming could be heard: “Guys we’ve made history, this is what I’m telling you.”
In the background, the guard’s radio can be heard cracking on the side table as her colleagues communicate with one another about the goings-on in the prison.
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The alleged officer’s radio, left on a side table, crackles constantly with her colleagues heard on the other channels above the din of the other prisoners on the landing unaware of what is going on in the cell.
The person filming commented at one point that ‘this is how we roll in Wandsworth’ and dubbed his friend, who was still involved in the sexual act that he was a ‘gangster’ for getting down with the guard.
Ian Acheson, a former prison governor, said to MailOnline: “If this footage is authentic and I’ve been assured it is, the problems confronting a likely new Labour administration go far beyond overcrowding.
“This is a national law enforcement agency. The idea that recruits to it would even contemplate let alone participate in sex acts is a stunning indictment of the utter chaos inside this prison. It won’t be an isolated incident.
“The state is no longer in charge here. The security implications and corruption threat is obvious and as explicit as the flagrant acts. The widespread infiltration of illicit mobile phones will mean that this footage is seen by huge numbers of prisoners.
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Another inmate filmed the whole thing and called his friend a ‘gangster’. X
“How are decent female officers supposed to feel safe to do their jobs in an environment where colleagues willingly participate in their sexual humiliation and exploitation?”
Vanessa Frake, former head of security at Wormwood Scrubs also said that this type of act is ‘what is completely wrong with the prison service in this day and age!’
Frake went on to call the officer allegedly involved in the incident a disgrace to herself and the Prison Service.
A Met Police spokesperson told LADbible Group: “A police investigation was launched on 28 June after officers were made aware of a video allegedly filmed inside HMP Wandsworth.
“A woman was arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office on 28 June. She has been taken into police custody.
“Enquiries continue. We remain in close contact with the Ministry of Justice.”
LADbible Group has contacted HM Prison Service for a comment.
